a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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