if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
