My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
