I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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