I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You have to summon your inner elephant
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
