Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
