I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
