How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
