I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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