i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
