I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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