I think I am morally bankrupt
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
so much tequila, so little girl.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
