Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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