remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
