So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
