So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
