Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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