There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
