i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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