I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
