Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize