The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
