I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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