My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
