She's JV to your varsity
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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