The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
