She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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