Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The beer is more important than you right now.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
