You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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