I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
