i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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