it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize