Umm I'm too high to move.
I faked an abortion last night.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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