HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
