Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
