everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
