He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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