I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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