are you still at the devil's house?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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