Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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