Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
