i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
