I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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