nut hugger
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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