My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
3pm strippers are depressing
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
