She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
