She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
