question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
