i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
