We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
