bring money and cleavage
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
