I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My vagina just recognized that song.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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