If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
