why didn't you poke me back
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
