I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
