She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Randomize
