i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
