I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
